At 37, Single for 15 Years, I’m Slowly Giving Up on Motherhood: Testimonies from Thirtysomething Women Facing Chosen or Imposed Singleness

Navigating the complexities of modern relationships and lifestyles reveals diverse experiences and emotional landscapes, particularly concerning singleness as a choice or an imposition. In an age where life decisions are increasingly scrutinized, women in their thirties are often caught in the crossfire between societal expectations and personal desires, especially relating to motherhood and relationships. Several women have shared their intimate experiences, shedding light on the nuanced realities of being single by choice or circumstance.

The Reality of a Decade and a Half Alone

For some, like Maëlle, turning 37 marked 15 years of sustained singleness. “The continual solitude makes me question what might be amiss with me – why I appear less desirable than others,” she confesses. Long-term singleness isn’t just about lacking companionship; it often spirals into deeper concerns about personal worth and the fading possibility of motherhood. Maëlle’s acknowledgment of her biological clock isn’t just a fleeting worry; it’s a profound realization that the window for motherhood might be closing.

Choosing Freedom Over Relationships

Conversely, the notion of freedom plays a pivotal role for those like Charlotte, aged 28, who perceive singleness as both an autonomous choice and an unavoidable state. She explains, “Each failed relationship feels like a waste of time, compounding my doubts about ever finding something genuine and long-lasting.” Charlotte appreciates her independence but also recognizes the societal pressures that make her question her lifestyle choices. The struggle is between embracing autonomy and succumbing to the longing for a committed relationship.

The Tug-of-War Between Desire and Disappointment

On the other hand, Philippe, hitting his mid-thirties, experiences resignation, acknowledging a series of romantic attempts that led nowhere. “I always wanted to find my other half, but it’s never worked out, no matter how hard I tried. Maybe being in a couple just isn’t for me,” he reflects. His narrative underscores a common sentiment: the exhaustion and disenchantment from constant disappointments and the looming question of whether to continue the search or find contentment in solitude.

The Societal Viewpoint

Social perceptions also weave a complex web around the choices and circumstances of these single individuals. In Belgium, being single carries not just social connotations but also fiscal implications, with singles often facing higher taxes compared to their coupled counterparts. This financial aspect introduces an additional layer of frustration for those navigating singleness in their thirties.

As these narratives unfold, it becomes evident that behind each story of prolonged singleness at this life stage is a tapestry of personal struggles, societal judgment, and the relentless pursuit of personal happiness. Whether by choice or circumstance, the journey of thirtysomething singles reframes traditional narratives about relationships and personal fulfillment in today’s world.